A story of behind the music for this song
by Randy Luckie
Sometimes I wonder why musicians write the songs they do. Sometimes the story is a simple one; they were feeling this way or that way and scribbled out a little ditty to express it. Sometimes, though, the reason’s are a mystery to even the artist that compose a certain song. This is my personal story of one such instance.
This piece is a remaster of a song from 2016. I started out to write a blues tune for a friend and former drummer of mine to write some words to. But instead, this song kept forcing its way out over any other ideas every time I sat to write and record the song. No matter how I tried, it came out as this instead of what I had intended. This was the late summer of 2016. I remember sitting up late at night, just working and working on this as if I was on a hard deadline for the thing. I had often wondered at the time, ‘what is it with this thing that I’m spending so much time feverishly working on it?’
So, I was supposed to be working a blues tune, but I kept getting this tune, and like I said, it was pressing on me to get it done. I worked at it and when it was finished in early winter of 2016/17, I posted it on Facebook, like I do all my vids…and that was that. The friend never mentioned the song to me and I figured he never viewed it.
About a month or so later, on Christmas Eve of 2016, in fact, that friend passed away, succumbing to some personal issues, and truthfully, it broke my heart and was quite devastating to me personally. Me and this guy, though we had been on different roads for many years, had shared a lifetime together. In his death I had sorrow about the fact that I hadn’t said more to him to bring him around, but it was too late.
For instance, and ironically, earlier that year, he had asked me some questions about different religions of the world and I shared my thoughts and had commented to him that Christ was the only teaching I had found that said right out that I could not reach perfection on my own. Then I said to him, as I had known him since we were 11 or 12, that our own lives had proven that to be so, that no matter how hard we wished or tried, we couldn’t be guiltless, and never would be under our own power. He agreed. Looking back, so much more could have been said.
Scott, my friend had been a not so much a unbeliever all those years but more of a ‘there will be time for that later’ kind of guy. I never tried to push anything on him, I knew change for him would have to come in its own way. The guy was like a brother to me and I loved him dearly, but admittedly in other areas of his life, too, he had some serious issues, also much deeper than I could reach.
However, during the arrangements for his funeral, I learned from his son that Scott had, in fact, seen the original song and video that I had posted on Facebook, and mentioned it to his son, and watched the post with him. I was shocked to say the least. The song had made some sort of impact on him, though I can’t say to what extent, but in my grief and reflection, it occurred to me that the song was the perfect vessel that could reach my friend, and quite possibly did.
I then thought about the pressure I had felt in creating the song, how it had felt like something that was already there, but had to be pushed out through my clumsy hands and voice. In reflection it seems that the work knew it was on a deadline that I had no idea of. It had a purpose and time was running out.
My beliefs insist to me that this song was a message for my closest friend, despite the issues and miles between us, to hear and experience before the fateful day that his light went out from the earth. A message to be delivered by one of his most trusted friends. I will admit, maybe this is just my mind trying to make a terrible thing better to withstand. But I will have to admit too, that is not how I see it. I have no explanation of this song content. I can’t explain why I chose the topic at all. It literally came out of no-where like a freight train in the night.
The very idea that I might of, in some way, helped my friend at the most crucial moments of need just seems… fantastical, and maybe even fanciful, but it stays with me to this day, and I suppose, it will for the rest of my time here.